|
|
Wednesday, May 19th, 2004
| |
7:29 pm - My new blog (dannysays)
|
|
| Monday, May 17th, 2004
| |
7:39 pm - Summer Sunshine
|
Ok, so I've stolen the name for this entry from The Corr's latest single. But, what the heck, I like them and they always remind me of my 18th birthday when I got their 3rd album ("In Blue")as a present. Although I have never had a birthday during School or University term time, at least being born in July guarantees me a nice, sunny day! Hurrah.
Never one to break the habit of a lifetime, I think I'll prob have another BBQ this year, if only for the pleasure of watching my Nan getting drunk again and having to be carried up the stairs.
I watched "Station Agent" last night (thanks DC++) and I recommend that everyone else should too. It's a slightly random story concerning a trainspotting Dwarf (Fin) who, after his boss dies, inherits some largely deserted land near a railway. Despite craving some social isolation after a life of constant stares and insults, a persistent hot-dog salesman and a lady with questionable driving skills soon enter his life. I think this film highlights the power of friendships to touch us, to inspire, and to give comfort. There's something going on here that transcends words, but which shines through the silences, glances, and touches which litter the relationships of the protagonists. I think it's to do with that comfort factor, when words are no longer important, and when even the most silent of encounters fill us with warmth, hope and the most intense sense of belonging. And best of all, it avoids a sugar sweet ending and never promises that everyone will live happily ever after. Fin is still taunted by school children at the end about his height, he is still stared at in the pub by the local residents, and his friendships are not without antagonism, stresses and anxieties. But the comfort which he finds with his new found friends, despite his best efforts to remain reclusive, leave us with a hope that he never has to cope on his own. Watch it, please. I promise you that you'll like it.
Sauce of the day: Gravy
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Saturday, May 15th, 2004
| |
5:48 pm - Bring on the summer
|
It's actually quite hot outside. And it's not windy. And it's not raining. And i had an ice-cream. And I think I'm getting a tan! Hurrah, it must (finally) be summer. So far my plans of reading for my dissertation outside in the fresh air have been thwarted by nasty evil clouds, and rubbish wet grass. Hopefully I'm not tempting fate......
Carly and Stu have good things (as ever) to say on free speech and tolerance in the light of current (ahem!) discussions. Check them out if you haven't done so.
Tonight is Eurovision. I'm taking a bottle of wine around to Matt's to numb some of the aural torture that I'm sure will be inflicted upon us. Apparantly the Greek entry is good, although this may mean 'good' in a 'god damn awful' kind of way. I guess only time will tell.
Not going to: Spandex (power ballads night)
|
|
(3 comments | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, May 13th, 2004
| |
10:21 am - A hot topic
|
The status and use of gay organisations, such as Warwick Pride, appears to have been ferociously debated and discussed over the past few days (take a look at Matt, Chris, Carly and Phil).
I think I have quite contradictory views surrounding the uses and desirabilities of so-called gay organisations. For me, I do think that they have a use, particularly in helping people who are not 'out' as of yet. When I wrote an essay this year on the gay magazine Attitude this was one of my main points, that it does appear beneficial in helping people to construct their own narratives and stories to help them explain and come to terms with their identities. However, despite this, in my analysis I found them problematic, and I think that a lot of this extends to gay organisations too.
For me personally (as someone who digs a bit of 'queer theory, and with a view kind of in line with Carly) i feel that a lot of these gay aimed organisations and media act to construct, maintain and police boundaries which are not there. I believe (and I know there are people who disagree with me) that there isn't some intrinsic difference between heterosexuality and homosexuality. Rather, I see a distinct fluidity between the two. Our desires are never static, in my opinion, and thus we are unable to say that the object of these desires is too. I call myself 'gay' because I fancy men at this point in my life, and I may always fancy men, but I can also never say that this will always be the case.
I do recognise that there are some unique experiences that come with being gay, such as the process and (re)negotiation of 'coming out'. However, I think it is wrong to argue that 'gay' youth have a monopoly on sexuality-based-angst. In a heterosexist society, it is not only those who end up identifying as 'gay' that find themselves at odds with forms of normative identity and who spend years in their youth at anguish about just who they really are.
And furthermore, a heck of a lot of people manage to (re)negotiate their identities and 'gayness' without the aid of networks that are 'gay'. Now, I'm not going to be privilege the effectiveness of different ways in which people learn to "be" and "do" their identities. However, as someone who is both "gay" (whatever this really means) and a Sociologist interested in this field I would argue that it is important to look into these alternatives that do not so strictly enforce some form of heterosexual/non-heterosexual binary. I think we can all learn lessons from each other, whether we are 'gay', 'straight', 'bisexual', 'undefined' or whatever.
In terms of politics, I believe that we do tend to look for over-causal explanations and that we can never be sure of the effect of things such as Pride marches. However, I do believe that the role of the media is more important than such activiites, and that the effects of, for example, the recent Coronation Street story line will be far more wide reaching and positive than marching through Birmingham. I'm not saying that people shouldn't do this, but I think that there is a need to recognise a definite diversity (important word!) in opinions between those who identify as 'gay'. As someone who is researching a similar area for their MA dissertation and has started interviewing in this area, I am aware of a distinct variation in opinions concerning the notion of gay visibility. Some 'gay' people see it as 'ramming it down people's throats', others see it as desirable, politically progressive and fun. Which is it though? I don't know, but it'll probably help if at some point someone got around to asking those who are supposedly witness to these declarataions of pride.
And maybe this takes us full circle back to the notions of gay organisations and the idea of difference. From the people i have interviewed it becomes very visible that sexuality as a point of identification is particularly fragile. What exactly this 'gay' or 'lesbian' encompasses is always open to question. And I think this is increasingly being recognised by a lot of people, especially with regards to social life. Sexuality isn't someone's whole life or identity, but just a part of this. 'Gay' people are simaltaneously divided by issues of class, 'race', (dis)ability, age, politics. And, hell, even sexuality and the performance of this itself.
So, consider this a 'works in progress' of some ideas that I have that need articulation and further research. I'm not denying a use to organisations like Pride, but they also leave me with an uneasy feeling. Give me some time and I'll get back to you.
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, May 12th, 2004
| |
11:52 am - Why i love my course (part 2)....
|
Free booze and free food! Yes kids, it's yet another Sociology party involving (one would hope) muchos wine and nibbles. To maximise on just how skanky we can be, Matt and I are going to go to the undergraduate party (5-7) for strawberries and champagne, and then to the postgraduate party (7-9:30) for red wine and biscuits. It's good to know that they spend people's tuition fees on the important things in life.
Oh yeah, I went to see Kill Bill last night and liked it lots. I preferred it to the first one, but think that's because I'm more into dialogue and plot, than watching people endlessly hacking off lots of heads and arms. The whole 'eye-ball' scene in volume two was rank though! Ugh.
Fruit of the day: Free strawberries
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Sunday, May 9th, 2004
| |
10:58 am - I'll have a '99' please....
|
of the bowling variety, obviously, seeing as this summer's weather is starting out pretty miserably. Still, it was a fairly nice night when me, Chris, Reena and Deeba were walking back through Brimingham from Andy's flat to the train station. It kind of reminded me why it's nice to live off campus and why I've missed home probably more this year than I ever have before.
Despite feeling exhausted after yesterday's late night, and muchos muchos walking, it was still a great day. Despite my awful bowling technique (look, I don't do run-ups, ok!), I managed to come second with a fairly (un)respectable 99. Plus, I managed to refrain from any purchases of a non-food variety at all.
Bowling ball colour of the day: Green
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Saturday, May 8th, 2004
| |
2:48 am - Shit happens, but it's all good shit
|
Today might be officially Saturday morning, but I'm going to ignore that and pretend that it's still Friday. Bring it on!
I saw my friend Nicola today and was told by her that I had the biggest grin she'd ever seen me with (and this is me, who smiles a heck of a lot). Despite suffering from a hangover (mild, but consistent) for most of the day, I've been pretty happy! :)
Reena and Deeba came down to Warwick today so we went to Soul Nation along with Lois, Savva, Nadine, Stu and Chris. Off to Birmingham shopping tomorrow, but I've really got to keep an eye on my finances and refrain from any purchases at all. Eeeeeek.
Potato of the day: Chips
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, May 6th, 2004
| |
8:02 am - It'll be your own fault
|
Today I managed to miss having both breakfast and lunch! Oooops. I was gonna go eat after meeting Felicity for coffee at 12:15, but then Lois and Chris came along too, and then Stu briefly, so it just never seemed to happen. Had an early dinner just now to make up for it, but I'm slightly worried this may negatively influence my already poor drinking ability. I'm sorry if I spew on anyone. Don't say I didn't warn you.
In slightly more interesting news, rubbish gays have finished their highly scientific study into the worst thing about being a gay. Obviously basing itself within a quantitative paradigm of social research, we would normally question the validity, reliability and representativeness of their findings, but I think we'll let them off ;) Thus Dale Winton (50.1% of the votes) is officially the worst thing about being a gay. The closely fought battle for second place was won by 'Steps', with 'bumming' coming third. Both 'poppers' and 'faghags' lagged way behind.
Utensil of the day: Fish slice
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, May 5th, 2004
| |
3:55 pm - Class...
|
"Society as a whole is more and more splitting up into two great hostile camps, into two great classes directly facing each other: Bourgeoisie and Proletariat" (Marx and Engels).
I was thinking about the ethics of my interviews a while ago, being self-reflexive to the point of extreme as the (post?)modern sociologist tends to. Recognising my own place within a complex social order, littered with divisions and multiple and multifaceted identities, and the effects that this may have on the interview process led me to think about my own class position.
Now, this has been a favourite alcohol-fuelled conversation of Lois and I as we trawl through our own, and our parents', histories for indicators of just how we are supposed to classify ourselves.
So, what am I? Am I working class? Upper working class? 'Respectable' working class? Lower middle class? Middle class?
And what does it depend on? Is it purely down to economics and finance? What about the role of my parents' occupation? Or should I be focusing on my own life as it is now, with an examination of distinct forms of cultural capital that I have appropriated and forged through my own choices and agency?
I know that there is more to class than objective indicators of wealth. Still, not wanting to be too postmodern about it all, we have to recognise the effects of structural inequalities on our ability to live out certain identities. Dis-identifying as working class is all very well, but a lack of economic capital will effect one's ability to 'pass' in certain social situations.
I know that I am privileged to have gone to University and got a degree. I am lucky to have got funding which has enabled me to still be here. I think I'm at an awkward time in my life where I'm semi-independent. Thus, by definition, I'm also semi-reliant, mainly on my dad still.
I suppose all this reveals the constructed nature of the boundaries between these various categories of identification and identity formation. I 'think' that I am working class, but I know that this is both complicated by a number of factors, and never set in stone. I suppose I'm in the process of forging my own identity at this very moment in time, as I age, finish my education, leave the Warwick 'bubble' and enter into the real world.
So, what do I put down at the moment?
That, as usual, I'm fucking broke...
Listening To: "Sick and Tired" by Anastacia
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, May 4th, 2004
| |
10:15 pm - On hangovers
|
Not only am I a rubbish lightweight drinker, but I am also rubbish at coping with hangovers. Now, I remember when I was 16 and the few times when I actually got into a club. Despite staying out till 2am on a friday night, and starting work at 7am, I always felt fine. No hangover, no headache, no tiredness. Nothing.
Fast forward to today, and it's a slightly different story. Headaches, dehydration, and the most intense tiredness are now a norm after even the smallest amount of alcohol consumed. Maybe my internal organs are just starting to pack up after 5 or 6 years of relentless self-inflicted abuse.
And taking a nap between 5pm and 6:30pm?! What's all that about? I'm obviously getting old before my time. Right, better go make myself a mug of cocoa, and warm my slippers up by the fire...
Food of the day: Chicken Kiev
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| |
1:34 am - Alcohol
|
I thought I was sober(ish) tonight. I now realise that I was wrong. I am officially a lightweight!
He drinks a vodka drink, he drinks a cider drink....
Soundtrack to Top Banana: "Hey Ya" by Outkast and "Toxic" (obviously) by Britney
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Monday, May 3rd, 2004
| |
1:47 pm - Why I love my course...
|
The following was written last night at 1am. Not too shabby for 5 minutes work. Hurrah! :) That's everything done now until September.
Enjoy revising everyone. Hehe! ;)
"From the analysis of this interview, some tentative conclusions can be drawn. Although this is only an interview with one person, a range of gay identities and identifications become apparent. In a similar vein to Connell’s (1995) respondents, Robert is keen to distance himself from those who he sees as ‘too gay’. In fact, one could argue that this interview highlights an almost observable difference between the categories of ‘gay’ and ‘homosexual’ if we recognise the role of cultural involvement and consumption in the construction of the former. Robert is able to shore up boundaries between himself and those who he sees as part of a gay ‘community’. Thus, we can witness a possible role that gay friendship groups (Nardi, 1992) and a shared politic (Nardi, 2001) have in the construction of a sense of ‘togetherness’, both on a small local scale, and in terms of a wider regional or (inter)national ‘community’. We also witness the ways in which a sense of ‘belonging’ can be negotiated and renegotiated by the individual in relation to their personal and social needs at various points during their lives. Furthermore, we must always question what ‘gay community’ actually encompasses when, as Butler (1999) notes, the similarities between supposed members can be very small indeed. This interview highlights the sense in which identification based purely on the grounds of sexual orientation can feel especially fragile."
Not listening to: The Scissor Sisters
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Sunday, May 2nd, 2004
| |
12:36 pm - Repressed memories (red lorry, yellow lorry)
|
Harking back to Thursday night, and a conversation with Stu, I realised that I'd completely forgotten about something. When I was about seven years old I had to go to speech therapy classes. Fuck knows how I forgot about this, because I now remember it being really really stressful and upsetting. I think it kind of disturbed me on Thursday when I realised how so many years have gone by, yet i've never ever thought about it since. Not once.
Here is a list of words that I could not say:
Three
Lorry
Thief
Thanks
Little
Through
Yellow
Location: In the library
current mood:  contemplative
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| |
12:03 am - Rubbish sleep and rubbish gays
|
I need to sort out my sleep patterns. I got up at 6:40 this morning (and it's the bloody weekend!) to get my final fling ticket. Got to the queue at 8am and we finally got served just after noon. Fell asleep at about 2pm, and was woken up by a phonecall at 5pm with a feeling strangely akin to a hangover!
I've also been slightly scared today by a text from some guy at home. He keeps saying that he misses me and loves me, even though I vaguely know him and I'm not going out with him (and no, I haven't slept with him). Today he told me that he wants to slap me "around in a dirty way". Well, who could refuse an offer like that?! Anyone sane probably.
I am sane(ish), so I ignored it.
Listening to "Both Sides, Now" by Joni Mitchell
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Saturday, May 1st, 2004
| |
10:42 pm - Last night, now, and tomorrow morning
|
Last night was great fun. DV8, lots of poofs, and a heck of a lot of vodka equates to a pretty good night! Even if they did play Toxic about six times, and some version of '5,6,7,8' which lasted (or seemed to, at least) 15 minutes. Lots of gays know the dance moves to the latter, this makes them rubbish! Alcohol is no excuse! Tut tut tut.... ;)
Not getting home until 4:30am has left me feeling pretty groggy today though, thus I'm writing a load of unimaginative and unashamed shite here.
Tomorrow morning at 8am I'm queuing for 'Final Fling' dinner tickets. What I'd really like to do is watch CD:UK in bed. Oh well! To ease the pain I think a load of cushions, and fuck loads of junk food will be in order.
Soundtrack to DV8 Britney, Steps, and the kind of early 90s dance that they used to play at rollerskating when I was about ten. Rhythm is, indeed, a dancer...
|
|
(4 comments | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, April 29th, 2004
| |
5:54 pm - Good things
|
Film: The Magdalene Sisters This was one of those spontaneous purchases, it was in the sale in HMV, and had got pretty good reviews. The film is set in a Magdalene Laundry in Ireland, where 'fallen' women are sent to atone for their sins through work and prayer. Horrifying, yet heart warming at the same time. Rose (who gave birth outside of wedlock), Margaret (who was raped) and Bernadette (feisty and flirtatious) arrive together and develop a bond through forbidden whispered conversations. It's about the importance, comfort and hope that friendships give us whilst simultaneously exposing and deploring still existing sexual double standards.
Song: Breathe Me by Sia
Be my friend.
Hold me.
Wrap me up.
Unfold me.
I am small and needy.
Warm me up,
And Breathe me.
Absolutely beautiful voice, it sounds like a cross between Martina Topley-Bird and Dido. This song literally scraped into the top 75 singles this week, but is a real jem. Listen to it, and then again and again, because it's a right grower. Sublime!
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, April 28th, 2004
| |
3:00 pm - Twelve great songs from Twelve great albums
|
Lying from "Quixotic" by Martina Topley-Bird
Just desserts from "Un" by Chumbawamba
Nothing But Song from "Revolution In Me" by Siobhan Donaghy.
Stoned from "Life For Rent" by Dido
Hands Clean from "Under Rug Swept" by Alanis Morissette
Super Duper Love from "The Soul Sessions" by Joss Stone
The Walls Keep Saying Your Name from "Shoot From The Hip" by Sophie Ellis-Bextor.
Virgin Sexy from "Angels With Dirty Faces" by The Sugababes
Ching Ching (Lovin' You Still) from "Debut" by Terri Walker
Fifteen Minutes from "Kite" by Kirsty MacColl
Lost Without You from "Fleshwounds" by Skin
You'll Follow Me Down from "Post Orgasmic Chill" by Skunk Anansie
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, April 27th, 2004
| |
1:29 am - By the way....
|
If anyone fancies seeing Chumbawamba on 12th June in Birmingham, let me know. I'm not expecting anyone to say yes, but I thought it was worth a try.
Soundtrack to Top Banana: "Toxic" by Britney
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Monday, April 26th, 2004
| |
7:47 pm - Un...
|
Un, the new album by Chumbawamba came out today. Being the slightly obsessed fan that I am, an early morning trip to HMV in Coventry was in order.
Most people think that Chumbawamba had only one song. You know, the "I get knocked down" one....it was called "Tubthumping" in case you forgot. Actually, they have thirteen albums and, as of today, I own them all. Yay! :)
I first heard of Chumbawamba when they released "Tubthumping" back in 1997. Then, after falling in love with the album it came from ("Tubthumper"), I quickly went and purchased their whole back catalogue.
Never one to read into things at all, I think that this random Uk anarchist band were quite important to me at a significant moment in my life. Being 15, firmly stuck in the proverbial closet, and completely lacking any self-confidence at all, it was exceptionally liberating and exciting. It wasn't just hearing music that celebrated the fact that it was ok to be gay, it was more. It was hearing stories about determined individuals who changed the world, about groups who stand up against cultural imperialism, women who lived through and survived domestic violence. I was going to a school at the time that forced us to Cathedral services in celebration of the school community, seemingly blissfully unaware that most of us didn't give a toss, especially those who were Muslin, Hindu or Sikh and probably felt like their own cultural identities were peripheral and unimportant. I don't think I got into them for the music (although I did like), I think it was the excitement of this politic that was so Other to anything I had experienced in my very narrow and sheltered life.
I went to see Chumbawamba at the end of my second year at Uni. It was in the 150-person-capacity Africa Centre in London, a fund raising gig for the family of Harry Stanley. Harry had been shot dead by police who thought that he was carrying a gun. It turned out to be a table leg. Instead of being supported by another band, left-wing comedian Harry Stanley did a set instead. In that room that night, a group of 150 people, a band and a comedian, it felt like community. I'd never experienced it before or since. I hope I experience it again.
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Sunday, April 25th, 2004
| |
3:40 pm - A Relationship Philosophy
|
To quote from yesterday's soundtrack to the day, "So, knock me off my feet".
That's not asking too much is it?
Listening to: "Anything" by Martina Topley-Bird.
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
dannyboy1982's journal